The colliding of worlds-motherhood, teaching, and maintaining my fitness level
There are so many many things this past week that have been stressful at work. We have state testing coming up and I don’t have a classroom since I mostly provide in class support, so we had to find a room, get materials, move tables, rearrange my schedule so that I still saw my students in other grades while I tested the 5th graders. Needless to say, I could continue on this rant for several pages, but who would want to read it? All the teachers are stressed and it’s not just me. The issue that I am having is finding the appropriate outlet. We do not have a contract so we have been working the clock, so I sometimes find my friends in the parking lot and go on a rant.
I find that running is a good release, but since I have a race tomorrow I didn’t want to run again today. I had this feeling of wanting something gooey and sweet and sugary. I wanted some kind of comfort to ease into the weekend and try to leave my day and my week behind me.
I want a smooth transition to the weekend where I can forget about the issues that have been arising. I ask myself WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET?
I hope my response resonates with some of you. I CARE. I care about doing my job well. I care about having everything in place in case we are monitored by the state during testing. I now have something called a SMID to track every student who tests with me as a way the state can come back to me to ask about a student’s test. I have to document if a student does not check their work, uses the bathroom a lot, or skips a page. I work with student who will be allowed to terminate a section if he becomes frustrated.
Is my state department of education going to question me? I hope not, but it still makes me nervous.
I want to do well. I want to be seen as competent, I want to know the answers as far as what to do when a special education student has a meltdown over multiplication. But for some reason, sometimes I feel incompetent with what is thrown at me. I am constantly adjusting, readjusting, forming relationships with regular education teachers, and other co workers. I try to appear as though I have it under control. Today I did not have it under control. Any tips?
- gloryofgod3 answered: I wanted to encourage you to strive for the best. I admire you for working in special education, and I know that God will help you. :)
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- tomesaway answered: Try not to worry. At the end of the day, you’re doing a job no one else can do: stay strong/focus on the kids and yourself. They need you.
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