Life Collision

There are so many many things this past week that have been stressful at work. We have state testing coming up and I don’t have a classroom since I mostly provide in class support, so we had to find a room, get materials, move tables, rearrange my schedule so that I still saw my students in other grades while I tested the 5th graders. Needless to say, I could continue on this rant for several pages, but who would want to read it? All the teachers are stressed and it’s not just me. The issue that I am having is finding the appropriate outlet. We do not have a contract so we have been working the clock, so I sometimes find my friends in the parking lot and go on a rant. 

I find that running is a good release, but since I have a race tomorrow I didn’t want to run again today. I had this feeling of wanting something gooey and sweet and sugary. I wanted some kind of comfort to ease into the weekend and try to leave my day and my week behind me. 

I want a smooth transition to the weekend where I can forget about the issues that have been arising. I ask myself WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET? 

I  hope my response resonates with some of you. I CARE. I care about doing my job well. I care about having everything in place in case we are monitored by the state during testing. I now have something called a SMID to track every student who tests with me as a way the state can come back to me to ask about a student’s test. I have to document if a student does not check their work, uses the bathroom a lot, or skips a page. I work with student who will be allowed to terminate a section if he becomes frustrated. 

Is my state department of education going to question me? I hope not, but it still makes me nervous.

I want to do well. I want to be seen as competent, I want to know the answers as far as what to do when a special education student has a meltdown over multiplication. But for some reason, sometimes I feel incompetent with what is thrown at me.  I am constantly adjusting, readjusting, forming relationships with regular education teachers, and other co workers. I try to appear as though I have it under control. Today I did not have it under control. Any tips?